Navigating toxic friendships on International Friendship Day

Every year on 30 July, the world comes together to celebrate the International Day of Friendship, a day dedicated to honouring trust, unity, and meaningful connection. It is a good reminder that friendship is more than just inside jokes and shared selfies. At its core, true friendship is built on honesty, respect, and empathy.

Not all friendships are flawless as they may seem. Behind the cheerful captions and carefully built moments, many people are quietly enduring the pain of toxic friendships, the kind that leave invisible scars. Research suggests that at least 70% of people have experienced a toxic bond at some point in their lives, the kind of friendship that makes you second-guess your worth, question your instincts, and feel constantly uneasy around someone who once felt like home.

Toxic friendships often conceal themselves as “tough love” or emotional closeness. If you find yourself replaying their words in your head, overthinking every reply, or feeling more anxious than safe, then it is time for your red flag waving. As we celebrate the spirit of friendship every July 30, it is time to ask ourselves: Are the connections we keep truly lifting us up or slowly breaking us down? Thus, it is time to ponder the unspoken realities of toxic friendships, why they happen, how to recognize them, and most importantly, how to choose your circle wisely so that Friendship Day becomes not just a celebration, but a reflection of the healthy, healing bonds we all deserve.

Toxic behaviours in friendships often hide in plain sight, and the silent treatment is one of the sneakiest culprits. It is not just annoying, it is damaging. Studies highlight how social exclusion, like the silent treatment, triggers anxiety and self-doubt, impacting mental health as much as visible disputes (Williams, 2021). You are often left replaying every single second, wondering what you did wrong.

Healthy friendships progress on communication, not control. A real friend does not celebrate silence. They talk it out even when it is awkward. A five-minute uncomfortable conversation can heal more than five days of silence ever will. A true friend should water your roots, not poison your soil. However, once the cost of staying begins to outweigh your joy, the choice becomes painfully clear, i.e. walk away. No guilt. No apologies. This is because your mental health is worth more than a thousand shared memories. Thus, if a friendship feels like a storm that never passes, it is time to stop waiting for sunshine. Leave the rain behind and save yourself.

Remaining in a toxic friendship can deeply affect mental health. Constant exposure to manipulation or negativity often leads to ongoing stress and anxiety. This can lower self-confidence, as individuals may internalize criticism or feel pressured to behave in ways that are not authentic. Over time, this may cause a loss of personal identity, with true feelings suppressed to avoid conflict. Such dynamics can also weaken trust in one’s judgment, resulting in uncertainty about personal worth and difficulty rediscovering one’s true self. Hence, choose your circle wisely.

Creating a circle of friends that brings happiness requires careful choice. It is important to connect with individuals who share similar positive energy and avoid those who exhaust it. Mental well-being should be guarded closely, much like curating a special collection where only the most uplifting elements are included. Letting go of harmful friendships is not a sign of disloyalty but a wise decision. Personal growth often involves moving on from those who do not evolve in the same direction. As one study notes, “Positive social connections are essential for well-being, but only when they are based on mutual respect and support” (Lee & Kim, 2023).

On the International Day of Friendship, the desire to value every bond can hide a painful truth: not all friendships are equal. Some connections inspire and uplift, while others quietly drain energy and cast a shadow over one’s spirit. A genuine friend acts as a guiding light in difficult moments. They celebrate achievements with sincerity, offer support during hardships, and share honest words wrapped in kindness. They avoid using silence as punishment or guilt as control, instead fostering trust through respect and care.

Selecting friends requires careful thought, like guarding a precious treasure. Emotional energy, a vital resource, deserves protection. Surrounding oneself with those who nourish the soul, rather than condemn it, is a wise choice for well-being. Yet, a difficult comprehension remains where not all are worthy of such closeness. Accepting this is not cruel but a sign of wisdom. Shared memories do not justify holding onto toxic bonds. Personal growth often means letting go of those who refuse to evolve alongside.

Friendship is a profound gift when built on respect, honesty, and empathy. On this Friendship Day, honour those rare individuals who truly understand and uplift. Life is too brief to linger with those who fade one’s glow.